苦しみの中で – tl;dr at end

「ヤバイ ヤバイ ヤバイ」は…3週間前から始まっていたけど、ずっと時間(うそでしょうね)がなくて、アップしなかった…ごめんなさい。

いや、二週間に日本語練習をしようと思ったんですけど、やはりできないんですね。。。

完全にダメな人ではないですよ!ただ、忘れる場合は多いのでいつも言ってくれないと必ず忘れます。一、二日後は覚えますが、そのときはもう遅いですよね。

そう、日本語の練習はがんばってしますが、しない場合に普通の投稿に日本語の練習を入れます。日本語が分からない人達にとってはじゃまかもしれませんが、どうか理解していただきたいです。ご迷惑になって本当にすみません。


Summary of the above: I promised myself that I’d write a short post completely in Japanese every 2 weeks, but as you can obviously, that promise has since been broken and ignored for quite a while. In the case I don’t have the time to write a Japanese post, I’ll add a few sentences of Japanese into normal posts, and while I know that’s going to be annoying for those who can’t read Japanese, I’d greatly appreciate it if you would understand my actions. m(o´・ω・`o)m

Alright, that’s over.

Lets talk about what I’ve been thinking about recently…

What do we want from life? What do we want to be? Who do we want to be with? Where do we want to be 20 years from now?

What are you going to be? What college are you going to? What kind of house do you want? When do you want to marry?

Guess which set of questions I think about most?

A few days ago, I made rough estimates with a friend for someone with a $30k annual salary and sharing a 1 B/Ba with another friend, and here’s what I thought might work. expenses

 

(Emergency = Money that must be put aside every year for unexpected emergencies: injuries, unemployment, etc. etc.)

Though I’ve handled most of the bills for years, I still can’t be sure if this is entirely realistic for two fresh-out-of-college students. (Side note: My dad makes just a bit more than $30k and we managed to afford a condo, so maybe this isn’t too bad…?)

I’m so glad I’ve got such a great friend who’s willing to tolerate my behaviors and habits, who urges me to do what is ultimately best for my future (exhibit A: no procrastination or she hangs up on skype). I’m going to be terribly sad when she marries, a man she’ll love with all her heart and walk beside with, and I wish that her marriage will be warm and steady, that I’ll have the right to continue to be her friend and watch over her happiness.

Anyone who hurts her with illogical reasons will suffer first from her family, and then me. I will give you a punishment equal to your actions, urge to never repeat them, and find happiness elsewhere, if appropriate. She may not be Family, but she’s family to me, and there is a difference.

Haha, I sidetracked, but I do love my friend very much, and am willing to do a lot to ensure her happiness.

And that’s the keyword for this post: happiness.

Weeks ago, a friend told me he wasn’t happy here, and I was terribly saddened to hear that. When I thought about it later, I could only nod in agreement with his words: I am not happy either.

My parents and relatives look at me with such expectations in their eyes: a doctor, an intellect, a wealthy educator…

What they don’t understand is that I am none of those. Yes, I sometimes want to be a doctor or veterinarian or teacher, but in end, what I truly want to be is useful and happy. I want to be able to help those who require my abilities and skills, and to live my life quietly, happily.

Or really, have fun with my friends and families.

(Dear teenage girls,

Contrary to what social media and most romance fiction novels drill into your minds, life isn’t all about finding a lover or, dear gods, soul mate.

Not sparkly and lacking fangs,
Amy

PS: 1 out of 2 people have divorces. Flip the coin, see which one you’ll be. Also, have you heard of STDs?)

tl;dr my bestie is awesome, I just want to be happy, romance novels = setting unrealistic standards since 900 BC ;)

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